Sometimes it feels like it comes in and out, like the ocean tide. And only if you are at the beach do you feel it. And once you've felt it, you know what it feels to be at home, not at the beach, not near that oh so good goodness. That’s my worldly perspective though. Because the word tells us, and so does our hearts, that God is good all of the time. He is unwavering. He is not like the tide. He created the tide. We are. We look up and lean in and it's a beautiful dance. At some point we look inward or outward and lean away. I think that’s why it feels like a wave, instead of a constant goodness in the soul. His goodness is there for the taking, why do we look away?
There are a plethora of reasons for me. Circumstantial is always a joy changer…Have I been at home with the kids too many days in a row, to see past the dirty underwear and goldfish crackers on my stairs? Is it spiritual, am I being attacked by the typical enemy tactics that bring me down, make me feel hopeless? Is it hormonal? This is a reality folks. Is it a lack of self-care? When was the last time I was at the gym, and when was the last time I was at the gym and I didn’t weigh the strings attached to that (loading up the van, sacrificing the kids time, anxiety over my child’s separation anxiety) etc. Could it be forgetfulness? Do I forget so often what God has already done for me and what He’s done through me? I hope not. He’s done amazing things, I’ve been so crazy blessed. Why He keeps pouring in if I’m forgetting what it looked like to be poured out…I will never know. I’m just thankful He’s not like me, like the tide.
If you’ve been in this Jesus game awhile then chances are you know what I’m talking about. We all know there are seasons where you feel anointed, blessed, joyful, and overflowing. And there are seasons when you don’t. If He’s unwavering with his thirst quenching goodness, and our souls are in constant drought, how do we ignore the distractions and go straight to our maker at the well?
I’ve been thinking about taking some preventative measures. Assessing my mind, body, soul and heart…to give me a litmus test of where I’m at. If I can discover where I am deficient or distracted, then I can have a prayerful plan to meet that need specifically, in so doing deter myself from leaning away. And instead, lean IN to His goodness.
I don’t think one needs to be whole to experience His joy washing presence, in fact it’s quite the opposite (but that’s another topic we won’t dive into here) but I do think we need to know ourselves. It's important to be aware of our surroundings, our schedule, our stress and our spiritual health. I can have a quiet time every day, but if I haven’t talked to someone above age 9 in a week it is hard for me to experience God’s gifts. I could work out every day and enjoy those endorphin's, but if I don’t take time out to pray and journal, I can miss out on what God has for me and the work He wants to do in my heart. I can live my life in my home, enjoy my friends and family, but if I haven’t helped someone or met someone’s needs before my own, then I haven’t loved sacrificially and I miss out on the joy that comes from generosity. It’s all about, balance.
I’ve always loved the scripture that says, “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength and all your mind (Luke 10:27).” He wants us to love Him with every part of who we are. That’s His number one. And guess what people? If you’ve accepted Him into your heart like I have, than He is inside us. So right here I do a crazy math equation and come up with the sum that it is important to love ourselves. To bless our spirits. And when we take care of all of these parts of ourselves it enables us to love Him with ALL of ourselves. And when we are LOVING Him with all that we can muster up (even if it' a mustard seed), than He fills us up with His goodness and “in Him we live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28) I am talking about the brimming to the top type of being! Where it doesn’t matter what you are doing there is a joy and a strength in your step. Loading the dishwasher? “Who cares I’m worshiping the Lord.” Going to work on a Monday morning, “I'm thankful for His provision!” Children can’t sleep, “well it won’t last forever and they are super cute!” That kind of joy, spreads. And it leads to, you guessed it folks, more goodness! “Sure I’ll make you a meal, watch your kids, volunteer at church, surrender in an argument, help you with your chore…"
The past few weeks our dishwasher has been broken and I've had a kick me in the butt sinus cold. So there have been moments this week where I've been washing the dishes by hand and tempted to be frustrated at the time it is taking me to do so when I don't feel so well. Thankfully, the spirit inside me was able to capture that thought and remember that most people in the world do not have dishwashers. And I felt an instant thankfulness for my running water that I could wash all of the dishes before me. It's not ground breaking, but it's still a win into leaning into goodness.
Now I think this idea is great, but oddly it’s contingent on the fact that you are in a fairly normal spot in your life, with some flare ups and gaps here and there. The idea is to drive us to the cross and not wander away to things that don’t give life. So that we don’t have to go without, His goodness. Here’s where it gets tricky.
When we are utterly broken. I mean Broken, broken, and broken. And hurting. And raw. That is an ugly, hard, beautiful place to lay it down my friend. I believe in those sweet places of surrender and utter depth, that is when God meets us right where we need Him. And we don’t have to lift a finger. I believe in the truth “blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Ironically, those are times when I felt His nearness so close, and I knew I couldn’t carry on if He hadn’t drawn near with His sweet embrace. And although terribly hard, they are stones in the Jordan for my walk of faith. I wouldn’t replace them for the world.
So let’s take stock of how we are doing, holistically. Where am I lacking in caring for myself? What part of you feels like it's on survive and not thrive? Ask the Lord to direct you in meeting the needs of your heart, mind, body and soul. When you feel yourself going to that bag of chips, that facebook page, that drink…something anything to feel goodness…remember those aren’t THE goodness. They are fake wells. They are little puddles that are shallow and don’t quench thirst. Go to the well and meet Jesus there. Remind your whole self who you truly Love and lean into the Lord with all your strength. See what He fills you up with! His goodness is always there, it’s plentiful and rich, it brims to the top and bubbles over. It is unwavering and oh it quenches deeply.
